No turn signal? Your brain is on the blink.

Dear dude in the silver Lexus, who refuses to use a turn signal: the world already knows all it needs to about you. You are either:

A. An idiot

B. An arrogant a-hole

C. Both A and B

And it’s important to emphasize that none of these are good.

After all, there can be only a few reasons for you burning up the road blinkerless and brainless. And they all boil down to this: you don’t know or you don’t care.  

Here’s what we can assume you don’t know:

• The basic rules of the road
• Where the turn indicator lever is
• Where you’re going
• Where you are
• What a major ass wipe you are

Perhaps you didn’t know the car was turning. Cars are, however, seldom known to do that on their own. Perhaps you didn’t realize you were not driving Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Maybe you didn’t know you weren’t being chased by mobsters with tommy guns. Using turn signals while being chased by mobsters would be pretty dumb. Or maybe you didn’t know we all shouted, “Simon says, ‘Use your blinker. (Goddammit.)’”

This is beyond being a pet peeve. According to the Society of Automotive Engineers, failure to use turn signals results in 2 million accidents a year.  Also, environmentalists have proven that you non-blinkers contribute to global warming because you cause motorists to gasp an extra 20% carbon dioxide. … This is not true. But now you can say you read it on the Internet—and that’s good enough for cable news.

(Speaking of pet peeves, note to self: name the next cat you own “Peeve.” I would introduce her as my pet Peeve who scratches the furniture, meows too much, and yaks often on the carpet. Seems apropos.)

So, dude in the silver Lexus, I don’t accept that your blinkers are broken. Or that they work on the inside. I don’t accept that it doesn’t matter. And I certainly don’t accept that you are above the law … or the parameters of common courtesy.

Your attitude is unacceptable. Turn it around. And when you do, use the friggin’ blinker.